Forgiveness in marriage: Implications for psychological aggression and constructive communication

Two studies examined whether forgiveness in married couples predicted partner reports of psychological aggression and constructive communication. Study 1 found that forgiveness of hypothetical acts of psychological aggression predicted partner reports of psychological aggression. Study 2 examined actual transgressions and found two underlying dimensions of forgiveness (positive and negative). The negative dimension predicted partner reports of psychological aggression, and, for husbands, the positive dimension predicted partner reports of constructive communication. All findings were independent of both spouses’ marital satisfaction. The implications for understanding marital interaction and future research on forgiveness are discussed. Marital conflict and marital communication have been at the forefront of marital research for the past 25 years, yielding a relatively clear picture of the topography of functional and dysfunctional patterns of behavior (Fincham & Beach, 1999). However, considerable room remains to better explain the observed patterns. Paradoxically, those we love are the ones we are most likely to hurt and may not always be the ones with whom we communicate most effectively. For example, verbal aggression is reported by 75% of men and 80% of women in a U.S. sample (Stets, 1990). This last observation is particularly sobering in light of Murphy and O’Leary’s (1989) finding that psychological aggression in marriage (verbal aggression and nonverbal behaviors that are not directed at the partner’s body) predicts the occurrence of the first act of physical aggression. In addition, psychological aggression may exacerbate the effects of physical aggression (Arias & Pape, 2001). Finally, the victims of psychological aggression suffer deleterious effects and often judge psychological aggression as worse than physical aggression (see Murphy & Cascardi, 1993; O’Leary & Jouriles, 1994). Not surprisingly, psychological aggression (Murphy & O’Leary, 1989) and patterns of nonconstructive communication and withdrawal are linked to marital dissatisfaction (Roberts & Krokoff, 1990). Thus, a better understanding of the occurrence of psychological aggression and nonconstructive patterns of communication in marriage and identification of the contributory factors to this behavior are important in their own right as well as because of links to subsequent difficulties. Forgiveness is a construct that might help us understand the occurrence of psychological aggression and general patterns of communication in marriage. That is, in addition to whatever role forgiveness may play in the aftermath of psychological aggression, it may 239 Preparation of this manuscript was supported by a Social Science Research Fellowship from the Nuffield Foundation and a grant from the Economic and Social Research Council awarded to Frank Fincham, by a grant from the National Institute of Mental Health Science awarded to Steven R. H. Beach, and by a grant from the Templeton Foundation awarded to Frank Fincham and Steven R. H. Beach. Correspondence should be addressed to Frank Fincham, Department of Psychology, Park Hall, SUNY at Buffalo, Buffalo, NY 14260-4110. e-mail: [email protected]. Personal Relationships, 9 (2002), 239–251. Printed in the United States of America. Copyright # 2002 ISSPR. 1350-4126/02